Emotions suck.
I'm not nearly as strong as a lot of my friends seem to think.
I know i've moved on from my past. Yet I guess i'm the type of person who easily gets caught up in my feelings. I easily and overly empathize and sympathize with others. When it comes to my own emotions I get carried away.
Heartache from so long ago still follows me. I know i'm over it. I rarely think about it. Honestly. Yet when i'm reminded or confronted with it for a while I cave all over again.It pisses me off that it still pisses me off. And knowing now that someone else close to me highly resembles that past makes me question if that was why I became close to that person.Reading an old blog hurt. Reading an old msg hurt. Hurt more then it should have.
"Look I am sorry, you have no idea how much I wanted to go with you, and how much i liked talking to you on aim everyday. I think about all our shit and I miss it so much. I know i have done this a couple of times to you, and there is no reason you should trust me anymore, I honestly don't have any other words for you either, other then I am sorry."
"I wanted to talk to you so bad, you can ask -- and -- about how much I used to tell them about us, and how I "can't" talk to you anymore. But I did not try to fight for you, and thats what i did wrong. But if I read that blog in time, things would've been a lot different, that I know for a fact. I honestly feel like shit right now. And i know you said that you accept my apology, but that is not enough for me. I will work my way to get back your trust, and your friendship. All that you wrote meant a TON to me, you have no idea."
Fucking Lies. All Lies. How easy it was for that person to forget promises made.
But thats okay. I'm just "in the moment" or should I say .. "caught up"
Tomorrow morning this wont mean shit to me. Nor will it cross my mind.
