Papillon~ Hana to Chou

CeCe introduced to me to Papillon: Hana to Chou.
The artist is the same person who wrote Peach Girl so i had to check it out.
I wasn't disappointed either. Its a great manga.
thanks CeCe.. for adding to another of my obsessions lol.

In anycase, im not normally into girly shoujo manga. Honestly i prefer the action and comedy of shonen manga XD Go naruto and bleach!
But its nice to have a manga i can cry, scream and really get into the drama with. And the writer really knows how to get me interested in her story lines haha she just has to throw in that one evil character i have to watch go down and that main character i can sympathize with and want to read about her overcoming all her struggles. Plus theres that one guy character who i adore. Funny, sweet and always there when you need him yet also very mature, mysterious and a total enigma.

The story of a girl who felt unwanted and unloved by those who meant the most to her. The journey of a little girl still growing inside her cocoon waiting to emerge as a beautiful butterfly.
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So i noticed today that i really get into whatever im reading...
Me and CeCe at borders...
Me:: (reading book) omg nooo!
CeCe:: (looks over) wut?
Me:: (throws book down) i cant read this!
CeCe::..... O_o lol are you okay?
Me:: i hate characters like this... im so upset... (picks book back up and looks at the page again... throws book back down) nooooooo i dont like this!! im so upset!!
Cece:: why what happened!?
Me:: its like... you know... when... and then...(goes back to reading)
CeCe::...... right.... so u better finish that soon! i wanna know >_<


My current song of the moment::

And then there was none

School is FINALLY done done and DONE!! weeeeeeeeeee
all those papers... projects... presentations... exams
all my academic burdens gone for a few months
::tears of joy::
i can have a life now ::sniff: its so nice

so no more Otakon.. that dream was shot down again... going out of town that weekend and i dont want to pay $55 for ONE day... but its all good... Cali, Chicago, Tennessee, and Virgina here i come!

My new $150 Amika Straightener!! =D
the sales guy saw me eyeing the zebra style and pulled me over and WOW-ED my world haha
It was quite the investment but so far its been worth it =p
and i STILL have enough for a laptop. BAM
go me .


I was cleaning out my old stuff from boxes and i happened to come across my old Student aide pass from my AP PSYC class.. ahhh the memories and good times gone by. I loved that class and the teacher was awesome. But i really did abuse this pass to no end XD... just wandering aimlessly in the halls =p


Wanna throw a quick shout out to the graduating class of SP2009 UMBC graduates!! congrats to all of you who worked so hard to overcome another milestone in your academic careers. I wish you all the best in the future!

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Honestly, i dont know what it is about kids who just become attached to me... those who know me know i dont like kids yet every time im with one they want to follow and be around me all the time ^ ^;

the screaming and yelling- oh gawd ::eye twitch::

but you know... i may have a soft spot for them heh. I hate em but i love em too.
doesn't mean i want any ANYTIME soon...

my friend once joked that i should feed them nyquil to put them to sleep.. hahaha...haha..haaaa... joke indeed =)

Btw i hate hiccups! LOL (shuddap CeCe) XD so mean...
Me: so i was ::hic::
CeCe: bwahaha...
Me: and then ::hic::
CeCe: pfffttt haha

Also i came across this song.
We Belong Together by Gavin DeGraw
forgot how much i loved it =)
enjoy


//Ame_ena//

ps: congrats on your new job BFF =)

~Cosplay ~

Here are some cosplays i may do.
They were all from cosplaymagic.com

Final Fantasy VII 7 Tifa Lockhart Cosplay: B/c Tifa rox my socks!! too bad my hairs short now =(

Bleach Kuchiki Rukia Soul Reaper Uniform Cosplay: b/c Rukia ROXs my SOX shh to the haters! lol i dunno.. it'd be cool to be a shinigami for a day XD


D.Gray-Man Lenalee Lee Cosplay: I like her character and i think they look awesome

Chobits Kotoko Cosplay: i uhh have no idea...

Vocaloid Hatsune Miku Cosplay: it looked cute XD

Soul Eater Maka Albarn Cosplay: if i was a boy i'd be soul but im not and maka is bad ass!.. sometimes .. lol well she uses a scythe and i LOVE scythes =D

Katekyo Hitman Reborn! Chrome Dokuro Cosplay: the eye patch won me over O_O

Shakespeare Rox my SOx

I should be doing homework. But im taking a break =)

anyways... my stupid SOCY 353 teacher is making her students memorize Shakespeare sonnets. Why you ask?... because she likes them... no of course it has nothing to do with NOTHING...
And no its not just ONE sonnet... We have to learn TWO... yep. Please dont ask why again. No one knows. Its retarded. Did i mention she cant spell? She doesn't know the answers to any of the questions we ask either. She complains shes not a morning person yet she gives us quizez the second class starts and expects us to always ask questions and such. Oh but she has a PHD...?

So i just learned the second sonnet and imma show off....
Sonnet 116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

BAM! no notes i swear!

Anywho... seems like we are hiring a new worker... I dunno if im the only one at work who notices that the past 3 new employees have been young men fresh from or still in highschool...so that makes for new guys. And their all younger then me yet i still look like the baby of the group lol.. kinda sad.. my manager says i should be happy so many guys are around ( and they are all cool as shit) but i dunno... there a sarcastic one (he thinks im slow and makes fun of my height) then theres the sweet one (hes really nice and always helps me out).. the quiet one (he doesnt talk much lol) And i havent been able to meet the new guy yet... But honestly i'd prefer some cool ass chicks come work cuz i've lost 2 cool ass co workers and so that chill group had been dented =(

Well breaks over... sucks...

//ame_ena//

Ps: saving for two months is not looking as easy as i first thought...

FurBy's back... back again

Im cleaning out my closet... ( lol i love eminem... i almost forgot how great he was till i happen to come across his older songs and i fell in love all over again <33.. time to burn a new cd =p ooo i especially loved his slower ones about haliey(sp?)... he has such a sexy voice =D)

anyways i digress...

while cleaning my closet i come across my FURBY... remember those? the evil rodent looking.. thing with big googly eyes and the annoying creepy ass voice it had. I remember waking up in the middle of the night with it looking as me crying "feeeeedddd meeee... im hungry... FEEEED MEEE" i swear if there was anything that used to scare me .... ::shivers::

This was back in 6th grade and i remember one of my friends coming over and throwing the furby against the wall she was so creeped out haha

seriously, i dont need any toy talking to me.
Im just grateful they werent clowns instead O_O.... "IT"... dun dun dunnn

honestly, i found i have too many clothes heh... two bags of donation clothes the size of myself and im still not done cleaning it all out... jeez...

Saw my BFF CECE on friday, so that was very nice <33
missed you girl... im so jealous of your hair and im sorry you had to see my room in the shape that it was hahaha. Oh and your reaction to my scar (mentioned in my last post) was heartwarming, its all good homie, imma tough cookie, i make it look hardcore! =D
and Yes i think you should blog, as well as all u others i know read my blog!

OH OH good news! if i save my next two paychecks and not spend any money i can get a laptop ::cheese:: i just gatta contain myself ::sigh:: which will be pretty hard considering its summer vacation soon and imma wanna spend it going out =( but i REALLY want the laptop....
and i really wanna go to japan... (what?)

lalalala i should be doing my GWST paper but i dont want too ::pout::
plus my uterus hurts >__<

sometimes... im not sure what i wouldn't give to read someones mind because trying to understand how that person thinks and feels has got to be the hardest thing... [[and i say i wanna be a psychologist ^ ^']]

//ame_ena//

Its been a while so bring on the updates!

The last two weeks of College BLOW MY LIFE. Its like the professors suddenly realized that the semesters coming to a close so they needa cram everything in to complie a grade for us -___-. I have no problem with not learning anything and getting an A lol.

Nope, no more summer classes for me. Out of state tuition for MC is wack... 3x as much are you serious!? freaking $772.80 for ONE CLASS whereas in county its $200 .. BULLSHIT!

I seem to be acquiring more and more scars recently... the most epic being the one across my left hand... yes.. 3/4th across my whole left hand... evil evil cats i have. EVIL.

Oh and my knuckle is horribly bruised from me smashing it countless times while trying to safe CD's at work.. i blame the ppl who steal! =p

Finished writing my thousandth paper for my GWST class... i don't think I've ever written the words "breasts".. "fondle"..."grope"..."vagina"...."sexual"..."porno"..."male dominance" as much in my life as i have this semester.

This semester couldn't end faster.

The weather is messing me up.

Me: hi mom!
mom: Hey don't get the swine virus, you'll die! ::walks away::
me:... alright....O_O

There are way too many movies i wanna see this week and im way to broke to see them all =(

Went to an Avalon concert. Was disappointed cause i thought it'd be bigger but i was impressed cause it turned out to be great! Jody will forever be missed... i loved his womanly voice lol.. odd but beautiful. Jeremy is the new deal!... hmm i hope thats his name :: laughs:: in anycase the "new guy" was AWESOME. IMO better then greg... sorry

My friend told me a story of how an old lady gets "trapped" in her car because she forgot the keys so she has no way of automatically opening the doors... shes been sitting in the car for hours.. so she finally finds her phone and calls 911.... their reply? "Mam have you tired manually opening the door?"...."no uhmm let me try......................... oh okay, yes that worked".......... Moral of the story? Technology is destroying our minds and making us stupid lol The cops may charge her for calling 911 for a non emergency... like that lady who complained about Macdonald's chicken nuggets running out......

In my PSYC 307 class we discussed what we would do if offered an anti aging potion to live till 165. I said no. Honestly i dont want to be the "old asian lady". I want to live it as God planned it and go when he planned it. Plus i'd be one hell of a crazy old woman lol Oh but i would love an "add 3 inches to your height" potion XD XD

Did i mention already how this semester couldn't end fast enough??

Pollen gives my car a halo =)

Sometimes i REALLY miss my bestfriends.

Putting effort into friendships, relationships, w/e doesn't work out too well when your the only one doing so. Its very hard to feel encouraged and motivated to keep in touch and talk to someone who doesn't even seem like thats what they want. So honestly, im done with that... i can say i put effort into it but im tired of it being one sided.

I think... sometimes i think i eat too much Pho... then i get to Pho and that thought is completely dismissed from me mind =D

Honestly wanted to quit ABC but i guess imma be there for a while ::sigh:: new co workers making up for my two friends who got canned lol but its not the same... now two more of my co workers are leaving and that makes me sad... i dont want to work somewhere if i dont have friends lol it may seem childish but my job is so chill that it requires ppl to talk to.. its gonna suck with out them ::cries::

UGH! speaking of work. I hate kids..... we have a little play area in the children's dept and sometimes the kids absolutely tear up the whole place. It takes me 15 mins to pick up everything and clean it up again. I hate looking for blocks... -_____-
Also... those lil brats tear apart books!! RAWR!!
happy thoughts... happy thoughts....

wait....
no naruto and bleach this week...
dammit...

anyways i should prolly go sleep, got that wonderful 8 o'clock class tomorrow =D

PS; this semester REALLY couldnt end fast enough

The great YouTube!

Something a friend of mine shared with me that i wanted to share with yall.
Babyson is it!

Maybe with a lil more inspiration i can get my uncoordinated ass out nd make my Bgirl debut soon enough! =p

bookbag for meee!

Bgirls living in a Bboy world

Honestly, if i could restart my life, becoming a bgirl would deff be one of the major changes i'd make.

I've always been surrounded and fascinated with bboys as i grew up. My brother had friends who all breakdanced and then i met more breakers at school as well.

The raw power, funk, rhythm, flexibility, and fluid movements are so captivating.


A big influence on me has been Asia One and her journey into Hip Hop as a Bgirl

Not one of the best i've seen of her but i love how personality shines through in her set

Thing's I'd Like =D

Samurai Champloo's one and only Mugen Anime Lighter for $14.68 on amazon.com
No, i don't smoke nor am i a pyromaniac ... i just like it ::lol::

Dance Dance Revolution Super Nova for $16,800 on amazon.com
I want! I need! ::laughs:: I'm so tired of the normal crappy mats!
I get this, and i am going to be MIA for a while.
I dunno what it is about DDR thats so addicting to me O_O

Now bk to The Office! ::squuee::
NBC new eps every thursday night @9

//Ame_ena//

Sunshine after a Rainy Day

PicCredit:: Tamsoo7a//deviantart

Its GREAT to finally have mother nature smiling down upon us
Apparently shes been angry these past few weeks...
Sun.. RAIN RAIN ... Warm... Chill.. Snow... Sun... RAIN RAIN..... @______@
So many people getting sick and lethargic from the craziness!
But hopefully, as promised by the oh-so-dependable ::cough:: Weather man we are gonna be dancing in 70 - 80 degree weather over the weekend [[skeptical]]
In anycase, im bored outta my mind waiting for class to start.
So I decided to share the joys of sunny warm weather <3

FYI: Deviantart is one awesome method of killing time. The artwork and photography I see on that website amazes me every single time... takes me a good while before I get bored. Also, you will notice that almost every picture I post [[aside from my own]] will be off of that site heee ^__^v
I credit the artists under every pic I use. Unless of course they credit themselves.
So if you like the pictures please be sure to support them and check them out on deviantart!

//Ame_ena//

"I wish.. I want.. I think.. If only..."

Honestly, im getting really tired of those phrases...
I wish
I want
I think
If only

You want something go for it... we all already have way too many regrets to wallow over for the rest of our lives, would you really want to add more to your conscience?

As a good friend of mine said.. "I'm done with 'what if's', I'm just going to do it"
Live life with no regrets.
so cliche yet theres so much to it that i think people forget the real meaning and power in those 5 words.

You want to ask someone something... tell someone something... ASK THEM. TELL THEM.

People like to assume that other people are mind readers.
'Because i feel this way so-and-so should know that and therefore respond to me the way i'd like them to'

c'mon folks. Yea it seems pretty silly having it bluntly said that way yet if you think about it a lot of people unknowingly use that very same mentality.

In any case, stop waiting for that person you wish ... want ... think ... w/e it is to do or say w/e it is you want them to say.. or do (lawl - lets read that sentence over again in slow motion)
And crank up enough balls and take the initiative yourself.

//Ame_ena//

PS: Dont give me that "I dont really care" bull... you think about it... you play out scenarios in your mind (yeah you do)... you care. If its on your mind more then a few times you care.

But be BOLD. be STRONG. Pride can tie a person down so easily.

Response to TMZ's Rihanna Photo

While checking my facebook i happen to come across this uploaded picture from a friend's album. Supposedly Rihanna after her.. disagreement with Chris Brown... TMZ claims its legit but who knows. Personally, i dont really care much for gossip in the celeb world. Theres always some new "hot scoop" going around. But after hearing how Chris Brown had reportedly been arrested for beating his girlfriend to a pulp, i just had a few things to say.

First off, Brown's image completely ill prepared his fans for his actions.
Secondly, no matter the issues, i dont believe a man should EVER beat a woman. Yes, some girls do need a good slap in the face ( you know it.. i know it) but to beat a girl!?... really?... Thats just a disgusting show of power in males to dominate over women.

But what really caught my eye was a friend's response to this picture.

"if ur gonna post this pic up,fine... make sure u put up the rest of the pics of the non famous women who get beat on by bitch niggas everyday!!! ppl only feel for her because shes "famous", this is bad, dont get me wrong but c'mon lets be real...what about the everyday working woman who lives this shit on a daily basis? i dont see her story all over the news!!! im jus sayin.. "

And i agree with every word.
Society is in an uproar over Rihanna's injustice.

But what about the millions of women suffering this injustice every single day of their lives?

Do they not matter b/c they arent famous?

Society is in an uproar over Chris Brown's violent actions.
But what about the million other men who have violent actions against women every day?
Do they not matter b/c they arent famous?

Its a shame, Both Brown and Rihanna are real people, just like the rest of us. And the Media is using his mistakes and her pain to profit $$

Has society really become the kind of place where in order for people to care, you must first be "someone worth while"?

The government/media likes to create the false illusion of control and power.
They only show what they can be shown to fix.
The moment they turn to the real problem, they show how powerless they really are.

Sorry Ladies, we only want size 2's

Picture Credit:: The Reality Magazine by ~x-vegan-x~ [[deviantart.com]]

"Advertisers are aware of their role and do not hesitate to take advantage of the insecurities and anxieties of young people, usually in the guise of offering solutions." - Jean Kilbourne

In my gender women's studies class we had recently discussed the corrosive effects of magazine Ads on women (especially teenagers). The image above, i think, perfectly portrays my main point. Advertisments in magazines (as well as numerous other forms of media) tell us who we are and how we should be.

First and foremost there is the ideal female body image that is impossible to achieve in REAL women. The perfect feminine figure shown is found only in about 5% of the female population... and even then its all genetics. Not all women are genetically tall, thin and fair skinned..etc. And even when the "perfect body" is achieved, blemishes and other nit picks are blown out of proportion and seen as problems needing to be solved. Media is so centered on valuing and seeing worth only in women who are beautiful and PERFECT.

Reducing self esteem seems to be the key to selling Ads. Make the person feel bad about themselves... unsatisfied.... in order to get them to continue to buy their product and focus on learning to better themselves. Magazines focus on selling products and ways to manage weight and skin care (make up). For men and women. And as the picture above states " if you dont look like this, you're an ugly failure" and no one finds you attractive. "Excuse me miss, you must be a size 2 to be accepted in society, please drop 6 sizes and come back... oh and to get you started on the 'new you' purchase this $85 diet pill for fast results!"

This kind of pressure on body image is what hurls hundreds of teenage girls into eating disorders. That they should only care about looks, fashion, make up, gossip, boys etc.

"Whether they admit it or not, they perpetuate the image that women should be slim, covered head to toe in makeup, and be perfect looking. Hence the Barbie.
To me these magazines are another form of distracting people from reality, somehow making them think that spending money to look "good", and surrounding themselves with the latest possessions, will make them happy."
~x-vegan-x~

Women are almost always portrayed in the most provocative and alluring ways.... sensual innuendos... half naked ads to sell jeans and other trivial objects... why do they have to be half naked!? It can even be argued that the sensual images found everywhere in Ads are why men are so lustful of the bodies of women... the after effects ending in violence to women. Women become more like objects then real people. Beautiful, alluring play things. "Just be quiet and look pretty". Because thats all women are good for.

Even our wonderful, lovable, amazingly beautiful celebs get their share of photoshop before the magazine Ad gets printed.
This is no perfection in humans.
We are all made different, unique and beautiful.
Be happy with who you are and how you are.

//Ame_ena//

Feeling a Little Romantic 62 Days after Valentines

I admit i'm a hypocrite... I hated on High school musical for so long...
I just happened to see the third movie yesterday and surprisingly loved it XD
[[ runs from the haters ]]
There was one song in particular that just took my heart, and i haven't been able to stop listening to it since... you know.. that one song you have on repeat for hours and hours till you realize how insane it is yet you still listen to it one more time before FINALLY moving on =p

Song:: Can I Have This Dance


After watching it i was feeling awfully romantic, you know.. the awww's and heart filled eyes haha
The dance in the rain had me wishing to have one of my own.. too bad i cant waltz ^ ^'
Oh and the wish for a boyfriend who can sing!! Yes ladies.. you know where im coming from.

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My luck with relationships has been less then stellar... I want my Disney movie love story...
I want to be the beautiful princess waiting for her prince to come riding in to save the day
To have love conquer all and friends who are truly loyal
To have a fairy Godmother who will grant all my wishes
To be able to sing all my problems away and have my happily ever afters..

//Reality Check//
You learn fast how things don't work that way in the real world. You live and work with what God has given you in the here and now, whether you like it or not. You'll live, laugh, cry, smile and have your heart broken 10x or more...
And through it all you'll fall in love over and over again.
Its an endless cycle of joys and sorrows.
But its our own personal Fairy tale.
God just decided to give us the tools to create our own happily ever afters.
Will you stop after one story? Afraid to continue on cause your not a "good writer"
Or will you continue after each chapter blotting in both the Ups and Downs?
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In any case, i want a boyfriend like Troy Bolton ::chuckles::
So Gentlemen.. if you have the qualities.. WOO ME...

//Ame_ena//