They call the girl who never cries and keeps pushing ahead strong. I say differently. Its the girl who acknowledges her pain... cries over it... hurts over it... realizes her mistakes... realizes what she needs... and gets back up and only then carries on.
Strength comes from facing and acknowledging the problem and learning how to overcome it. That's what I believe anyway.
I used to think I was a strong person. My friends say I am. But I know now that i'm not. And theres nothing wrong with that. But i'd like to do better from here on out.
I can go through each day perfectly fine - perfectly happy without a single regret. But sometimes late at night when theres too much time to think... too much silence ... I think. I think and I remember. And when I remember I miss you. And when I miss you I become lonely. And when I become lonely I try to convince myself to do everything I know I shouldnt do. And its very tricky. To miss you so much but hold myself back because I cant go around in circles anymore. I dont think I made the wrong decision. But that doesnt mean my feelings just vanished so easily. And that doesnt mean I dont miss you - my best friend in every way. But when I do miss you its difficult. And that's my moment of weakness.
But I wont give in anymore. I'll bear the pain through the night because I know in the morning I'll be okay again. And soon enough, I'll finally be okay even through the night.
