Some lessons take a long time to sink in. Like thinking you know whats best for someone else when you really don't or when you decide for someone else how they feel when you really have no idea.
When a guy tells you he likes you simply because he wants you to know - not because he expects you to like him back or become any different and that he wants to remain friends, the worst thing you can do is act differently and play the "I dont want to lead you on" card. Why not just slap the guy in the face and be done with it?
I have to admit I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Guilty of that. Not just once or twice. Since the dawn of time. Oh Wait. Not the slapping but the more pathetic stupid part... the whole "I dont want to lead you on" card by acting different or distancing myself from him. I thought that if I couldnt return those feelings or if I didnt want the same things I should not "lead him on". I thought by calling him everyday, texting him all the time, chatting on aim 24/7, hanging out afterschool.. on the weekends etc. that it would be mean of me. And that by distancing myself I was thinking of him and being nice and considerate of his feelings. Because, after all, if someone says they like/love you and you say u dont feel the same... how can you continue to call them all the time acting as if it never happened - thats just mean to them!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Guilty of that. Not just once or twice. Since the dawn of time. Oh Wait. Not the slapping but the more pathetic stupid part... the whole "I dont want to lead you on" card by acting different or distancing myself from him. I thought that if I couldnt return those feelings or if I didnt want the same things I should not "lead him on". I thought by calling him everyday, texting him all the time, chatting on aim 24/7, hanging out afterschool.. on the weekends etc. that it would be mean of me. And that by distancing myself I was thinking of him and being nice and considerate of his feelings. Because, after all, if someone says they like/love you and you say u dont feel the same... how can you continue to call them all the time acting as if it never happened - thats just mean to them!
Heh. Girls can be pretty damn cruel. Or maybe its just me.
I honestly dont know how I can delude myself so skillfully sometimes. I used to think I was doing the right thing when I would act like that to guys but wow was I wrong. When I think about expressing my feelings to someone and then having them distance themselves or push themselves away from me so I wouldn't be "led on" I'd feel like punching the person in the face. Seriously.
Now I feel like an asshole... awesome. Definitely deserve it though, in this case >__<
Amina's 100 tips for rewarding guys for pouring their hearts to you -
tip#2 distance yourself from him and tell him you'd rather not talk to him because it would "lead him on" then proceed to pour the salt
(tip#1 (my all time favorite) After your boyfriend declares his love for you for the first time - immediately dump him .... dont forget to give an extra stomp on his heart on your way out)
When I was young, one of the first lessons my mom taught me was to say "Thank You" when someone gives you a gift or when you are complemented. I seemed to have forgotten that lesson. Why was it so hard to accept the beautiful gift of being special to someone and say "thank you"... For some reason we like to assume that just because a guy likes us means he wants to go out with us or that hes expecting something - when all he really wanted was to let us know that we mean something to someone... that someone cares that much about us and that we are loved. Instead we become so awkward. Sometimes people just want you to know they care. Simply that.
My brother used to tell me that I need to stop assuming I know whats best for someone else and that when it comes to guys I tend to act like they'll break if I say no and so I instead baby them and sugar coat and stumble all over my words and actions. No one knows whats best for someone else and you never know how someone else feels. Assumptions are rarely if ever correct.
So for the feelings i've stomped on in the past and the friendships i've lost, I can only apologize. Sorry for not understanding before. Sorry for only thinking of myself. Sorry for not appreciating your feelings. The next time I am blessed enough to have someone express how much they care about me (whether or not I return those feelings) I will say "Thank You" and let that be that. No over thinking. No shutting people out. Just appreciate and be thankful for it.
