All the information is taken from The Retriever Weekly:
I. Police Log
a. Arson in the AOK Library
-"Police arrived at the scene of another arson in the AOK library; the suspect apparently displeased with his grade from his English professor, set fire to his paper in one of the study rooms and left. A Staff member proceeded to put out the fire and found only the bottom half of the paper indecipherable; the suspects name remained legible at the top. Arson and stupidity chargers have been filed"
b. Apparent Possession (Weed) in the Admin. Building
- "A UMBC staff member apparently witnessed a drug transaction (weed) go down in the elevator of the Admin building in the early afternoon. After UMBC polic investigated, it turned out the students were mere environmental science majors who were exchanging and examining grass."
many more stories of stolen things, ninja skills, drug dealing with cops, stolen things... oh and more stolen things. Ahh UMBC is a school of FINE educated adults.
II. Food
Chipotle is coming to UMBC! (yaaay) by Fall semester. Although I could have sworn earlier this semester there was a big WHO-HA on how UMBC students were fat... and promotion for the RAC was all over my.umbc.edu. Now I read that the old CHEM lab is being replaced by Chipotle. Nice. Way to know your priorities UMBC =)
The article continues to read "99.8% of college students, regardless of race, gender and income, would live with Chipotle as their sole substance,, it is projected that within the next two years, every college student in the U.S would willingly live off of chipotle" HAR HAR
Chipotle is coming to UMBC! (yaaay) by Fall semester. Although I could have sworn earlier this semester there was a big WHO-HA on how UMBC students were fat... and promotion for the RAC was all over my.umbc.edu. Now I read that the old CHEM lab is being replaced by Chipotle. Nice. Way to know your priorities UMBC =)
The article continues to read "99.8% of college students, regardless of race, gender and income, would live with Chipotle as their sole substance,, it is projected that within the next two years, every college student in the U.S would willingly live off of chipotle" HAR HAR
oh whats this you say?
"The university is known as an obese campus already, with a higher BMI than other schools" YOU'RE FAT UMBC.
III. Parking
Guess what Retrievers (you sad poor excuse for a mascot you), we're getting a new garage on campus!! Check. This. Out...
Guess what Retrievers (you sad poor excuse for a mascot you), we're getting a new garage on campus!! Check. This. Out...
"With a generous allocation in the current state budget, a sixteen-story parking garage will be erected on Erickson Field... We realize that our parking policy has been a major issue (OH REALLY NOW)... parking will be open to all parking passes,.. the elevators will be solar powered and may be out of service during prolonged periods of rain" (Ahhh... I see... any reactions to the solar powered elevators people? Oh heres one! "I see it as an opportunity to break out elevator addiction... besides, most UMBC students could use the exercise" ) BURN. I can understand people should walk more... but really UMBC... thats SIXTEEN FRICKEN FLOORS ARE YOU INSANE. You will KILL all the obese students that you do have... Oh my... imagine driving up ALL SIXTEEN FLOORS. It sucks enough going up FOUR.
IV. Twilight
Heh. Someone wrote an article about how "Twilight is work of literary genius... Yes, Twilight deserves to be next to Grapes of Wrath. May I dare say that they are even better than Harry Potter!"IV. Twilight
Yeah thats about as far as I got into THAT article. First of all DO NOT COMPARE TWILIGHT AND GRAPES OF WRATH. W T F. Second of all... I like how Grapes of Wrath, a Pulitzer Prize novel about the Great Depression, was casually compared with Twilight whereas any statement that it may be better than Harry Potter was the REAL shocker and hook line sinker!
There is so much more I could review but... alas... early classes in the morning >_>
