Dad & Mom
I used to have four grandparents, then since 8 years ago I had three... in the past 6 months two... now, after 2 months, Im left with only one - my maternal grandfather. My maternal grandmother died a long time ago from cancer. My paternal grandfather died suddenly from a brain tumor one morning. My paternal grandmother, recently passed from disease and heartache.Sadly, I was never close with any of my grandparents. I really regret that. I came to America with my mom when I was around 2 years old. My grandparents stayed in India all my life. After I learned to talk, my parents tried to connect me to them through the phone but there was always a language barrier.. which only seemed to grow larger as each year passed.
Its weird for me, most of my friends are all very close with their grandparents but i've never experienced something like that. I felt sad when they passed ... and I treasure every memory I have of them from my visits to India over the years. But more than anything, after they passed, I felt more sad for my father. He lost both his parents within 6 months. I have never seen my father cry but that evening when he heard my grandmother passed... I could only watch in silence as he slumped over the bed in grief. I know my father has sooo many regrets. He would always tell me how it made him sad that I never knew my grandparents.. and how they never got to know me. I've gone through life so nonchalant about that fact. "You can't miss what you've never had". It never really bothered me that I never got to know them before. But as I continued to watch my father rub his face furiously... take deep broken breaths... I suddenly wished I had. I wish I knew the two people who my father called his parents. So that maybe, I could share his pain.. share his memories and remember them well with him.
Dad: I really messed up. Coming here (America) was both good and bad. Coming here.. you never got to know your grandparents... I really wish you had. That was the bad part...
Me: ::sad smile:: I really wish I could have gotten to know them better too Dad. Thats why dont worry, my kids will always be with you two. I never got to know what it was like to have all that but I want my kids to have that relationship, that love, that companionship with their grandparents. Heck, moms gonna steal my children all the time anyway. So be ready for that, yeah?
Dad: ::smirk:: Yeah, of course.
I never got to experience being spoiled and babied by my grandparents but even still, I wont ever say I didnt feel their love for me. Even when I couldnt understand them through the phone I could tell how happy they were to hear my voice. In india, my grandmother dried my hair with a hand fan and we sat there for hours. My grandfather would sneak chocolates for me when I wasnt in the best of moods, even though we couldnt communicate with each other. My other grandfather shows my pictures to his friends and says "thats MY only granddaughter... look how beautiful she is". So love was something I never lacked from them.
I want my kids to feel all that and more. I love my parents and I hope that maybe... my children can bring them all the memories that I could never give their parents.
