An old post of mine to an old friend.Thought it was worth sharing.**************************************************************
Thats an intresting comparison you make with being a "monster". [ the deffinition of a M.. 1 a : an animal or plant of abnormal form or structure b : one who deviates from normal or acceptable behavior or character
2 : a threatening force
3 a : an animal of strange or terrifying shape b : one unusually large for its kind
4 : something monstrous; especially : a person of unnatural or extreme ugliness, deformity, wickedness, or crueltyYou call urself a "monster" b/c you feel those certain actions are justifiable to that of a monster. But is that really true? If so, i guess you can say the worlds just that ugly, deformed, cruel and wicked as well. which jst might be true... The fustration of never being able to "measure up" or keep ones words. The self -awareness of knowing that your a dissapointment and at the same time promising again to do somthing that too, eventually wont be done or good enough. Its the same for everyone. For some its a lot more painful and scaring. Society nd Morals make us bleed when we've done wrong or wronged others. The infamous quote " no ones perfect"-- some jst brush it off nd say "yeah yeah..." But think about it nd acknowledge that statement seriously. Its not jst some excuse to make excuses. All it takes is ONE thing-one mistake,one thought, one word, one tear, one smile- to change everything. Sometimes we have to hit the bottom [even more then once or twice or even penetrating the depths] to even begin to see the top. We all become "monsters" in a sense...its one of human natures "hidden" sides.
But how each person deals with this "monster" is up to him or her. Some embrace it- some go into depression nd self loathing, some overcome it. Expression of ones self isint weakness- in fact i see it as exact opposite- those who jst hide all the time are too scared to express themeleves not that theres n e thing wrong with it [ hell im lyk that nd so are a lot of ppl] Ppl worry too much of wut others think. Wut matters most are those who care for u nd are willing to do anything for u nd most importantly are willing to forgive you [ not because they have a right too b/c they have faults of their own but b/c its what u need most]. Be selfish nd embrace those ppl nd let them be the ones you lean ur shoulder on. To be someones gift...I [personally] believe we're all GOD's gifts- lifes a bitch -indeed " a journey full of tears nd grief". But we honestly learn to cherish the better moments."good ppl" nd "bad ppl"- who the hell has the right to judge?- GOD cherishes nd love us "monsters" jst as well.Thats my general view n e way- sorry if i went a little overboard- we all have our 'demons' nd i wanted to share a little of wut i think. But whatever it is ur going through i hope a little of wut i wrote helps, even if a little. Dont be too harsh on urself nd i pray all the best for you.
